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Chapter 38

He sat there staring the rain drops falling outside the window of VIP hospital room remembering what was happened a few hours ago….

The air coming from the window was moist…soothing his abnormaly disturbed nerves some how…he keep facing the window and closed his eyes….and when he opened it, his eyes seemed blood red. He rubbed his temples to understand who was responsible for all that? Aryan..? or he himself?

He remembered the time when he promised himself for a revenge from Aryan when he was standing outside the ICU leaning his back on the wall waiting for some one from inside to come and tell him that every thing he was thinking was not true, she was never pregnant, his child is not dead as he was never in her tummy, she is alright and she can go home, he sweared that time that he’ll never let this happen to her again, that he’ll never do anything that can hurt her, never will do anything that can be a hurdle in her way of future success, that he will never put any responsibility unknowingly on her tiny shoulders untill she becomes responsible mentally and ready to bear such responsibilities by herself in her life. When suddenly the door opened and he was back into hospital from his thoughts, a nurse came out and told him some thing he never wanted to hear…..khushi was more than 2 months pregant and she had a miscarriage. But the next sentense was more horriable than the first one….excess of alchohal in her body caused this damage to happen. His mind was blank for a few minutes as he stared the nurse wide eyes, then lost in his thoughts as he remembered how Aryan has feed her alchohal, how she was unable to stand on her feet when she pushed his hands and fell on her belly, at that time he was wishing hard for this not be a miscarriage but it was…

the only difference was the reason was not what he was thinking………He left the sofa and walked slowly towards the window….trying to feel the air some more on his face so that it can calm him some how…….the name of alchohal bring his attention to the person responsible for that, Aryan…his life was ruined for sure for making Arnav Singh Raizada’s life a mess by playing with his loved one’s life but even Aryan was not the true reason….his inerself started to disagree to himself for this……the ture reason was he…himself…..Khushi was always a fantasy for him, an innocent angel he had ever seen in his life, so innocent that he denied to believe that this much innocence can even exist in this world…he tried to hurt her to break her outer shell of innocence that she was wearing in his openion….but he was proven wrong…there was no shell…and he came to know that when he saw the blood marks on her body caused by his continuse hitting to break the shell…there was no shell he was hitting….it was the real her that bleeded every time when he did so….once he was asured of her angel like prensence in his world , he denied it once again, to keep her safe from his demonic self, to protect her from himself, as he knew he cant keep and protect innocent things ever…and he was so right….but when he has came to know about her strong emotions for him, that how she was getting hurt from this distance between them, he came back to her forgetting every thing, taking risk of keeping her. Making sure that he protect her from every little harmfull thing around, but he forgot himself, he can forget the world but how can he forget her security? how he can be a threat to her life ever?….he never in his wildest dream could have imagined that he himself will harm her by being close to her………..but being with her, when she was talking to him, loving him, asking him to do things that she liked that too with extreme innocence involved within, he almost lost himself when ever she was around, he forgot every thing about her, he even forgot that how much it was important to protect her from himself and that was the sole reason she was here in this state…..came back from a battle of death becoz of him….He was the one truly responsible….how can he forget such an important point during their intimate moment? That her protection is most important than any thing, or may be his mind never let him think this way as he could not even imagine her pragnancy in this age, she was too young for all this….

He sighted harshly…as he took a final decision….he decided to harm both the persons responsible for her state…..Aryan….and then he himself……and he took the worst punishment for himself…..he knew what can hurt him more….so he decided some thing that can be more painfull for him to bear….the decision was to send khushi away from him…….as he lost the confidence of protecting her ever now.

He looked back at khushi who was sleeping peacefully, her long hairs falling down from the bed touching the floor like a waterfall, her face and lips pale, eyes pink and a needle was being penetrated in her veins in her arm, the delicate area of her skin around the needle turining blue becoz of it. He came near her and carsed her hairs slowly, her cheeks with the back of his hands lingering the touch, her cold silky skin of cheeks soothing him when he touched her there, the back if his fingers travelling down from her cheeks to her long delicate neck, she looked fragile, he cupped her face with one hand and kissed her forehead and then resting his rough stubble on her delicate cheek’s skin for some time sitting beside and leaning on her. He picked up her hand and kissed her palms and then pressed her tiny thin hand in his huge manly ones…caressing her nuckles and kissing them again….waiting for her to open her eyes but she was deep in her sleep under the medicine’s effect.

 “Mr Raizada…the dr is calling u…can u please come?” a nurse opened the door and ask him in a pretty mannered way. he nooded and followed her.

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“Mr. Raizada ur wife is has gone through an early age pregnancy and a misscarriage that is caused by her weak cervix and the excess of alchohal in her body as well….she was already prone to miscarriage becoz of her weak cervix but her alcholic condition did the work …..i will ask u to be a little carefull about what she eats or drink in her next pregnancy but as for now…she needs ur support a lot…u have to keep a continuse check on her for some days untill she is back to normal life…..she is bleeding now and very weak, u have to make sure for her proper meal, the bleeding is gona be continue till 7 days but if it continues the 8th day u have to consult me immediately as its not normal, u have to avoid sex during this, u have to see when she got her menstrual cycles and if she did’nt got her menstrual cycles within 7 to 8 weeks then u have to consult me again for that…” the dr said and breathed a little to continue further and Arnav was lost for some time when he remembered how shy she was around him during these days… but how could he not know that she was pregnant as never got periods for 2 months? Why she never told him that? how she always tried hard to hide it from him, but was caught when ever he wanted her and teased her intentionally talking to her about it to make her a little comfortable but she never was comfortable discussing this and so he stoped discussing this with her….he was brought back to this world by the dr again….his hand clucthing the chair as he looked at the dr sitting infront of him seriously once again….

“And Mr. Raizada mental support…that is very important…..she can be in stress, depression, extreme anger  or shock after her miscarriage but u had to talk to her, be by her side always, never leave her alone to think some thing else, try to keep her busy in some thing else what ever she likes but avoid movements much. Rest is important for her, u have to keep checking her body temprature and see that if there is any blood clotting, if it happens than she might be having an infection, and u have to call me there or u can take her here as well for a check up then, last but not the least Mr. Raizada once again …u have to support her mentally more, see that some one never blames her for this, u have to take care of her fears….now we will discharge her a day after tomorro if her condition alowded….i hope u understood what I said….” She said smiling and Arnav just nooded a little…he stood up and thanked dr and left the dr’s cabin to reach khushi as fast as he can.

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Khushi opened her eyes slowly and tried to sit, she felt too weak and a strange slight pain in her back and abdomins that arioused when she tried to move…..she lay back on the pillow steadily as she felt no power within, she was back to conciousness and was alone in room looking here and there to find where she was…she tried to remember what had happen last with her that bought her here…?

She remembered the party, the drinking, then Arnav arriving there and taking her home very angry, she remembered she was drunk that time…and then…what happened? She was trying to remember when a cold moist ghust of breez touched her arms and shoulders that were out of the blanket…she shrudded from cold and tried to put her hands back in the blanket when she pulled the hand on which the drip needle was sticking and she screamed weakly…..

“Ahhh…Arnav jii” she weakly called her husband in pain who was just on the door when she was pulling her hand and he had seen her doing so and so he rushed towards her….

“Khushi….” He reached her and held her hurt hand in his….

“Don’t move…u’ll hurt urself…be carefull” he felt disgusted while saying these words…”hurt” “carefull” like he was carefull ever with her the way he is asking her now to be…he looked the other way and then again at her pulling the blanket on her shoulders putting her hands inside very carefully and then setting the iv tube under the blanket with her hand carefully so it does’nt hurt her…

“Arnav ji what am I doing here?” she said trying to remember what happen last..connecting her  mind to the flash backs of her mind again….and there it was…she remembered how she fell down on her belly and it hurted like hell and then she remembered his face when he was holding her and snatched his hands again from under her knees…he looked at the his hands like his hand is a thing he has never seen in his life ever before….she did’nt knew anything about what he saw and why he behaved this way…she only remembered extreme pain before she got fainted in his arms when he finally picked her up off the ground in RM.

“Arnav ji….how did I got hurt? My stomach was hurt I remember” she said

“Khushi….u r not getting ur periods since 2 months and u never told me about it?” he asked her, his voice soft but boring extreme seriousness …..she got the point that this was some how related to her current state…

“bu…but …what it has to do with my current state?” she said a little confuse, skiping the answer to his question. In response he did’nt replied her and caressed her hairs lovingly and then cuped her right cheek….

”how r u feeling now?” he asked

“I am feeling very weak” she said in a low tone looking at his face with questioning eyes….

“but Arnav ji…what happened to me?please tell me….i want to go home” She asked but he placed a finger on her lips…

“Ssshhhhhh…nothing…u r alright…u just have to be carefull and take care of urself and then I’ll take u back when u’ll be fine fully”…he said patting ur cheeks and left from there to close the window from which the cool wind was coming inside.

“Please don’t close it….i will suffocat else…” she said and he stopped and came to her bed and sat on the bed beside her…

“Where is Di and others?” she asked…

“They are at home…I don’t want them to come here and create a mess in this room interupting ur rest..” he said…

“But please tell me what has happened to me….(she said getting up to sit taking support of the bed but she felt pain arousing in the pit of her stomach and she hissed in pain) Ahh….Arnav jii…its paining ….very much…” she was having tears in her eyes while saying this….

“I am sorry…I am really sorry…I wont let any pain in ur life again…I am so sorry…” he said kissing her hand that he was holding and trying to pull back his tears… his eyes turning blood red again becoz of pain inside his heart that he tried to hide…she never knew about the loss that she recently have and he never wanted to tell her….

Though he never about about her pregnancy but he was already feeling a pull towards the child, it was his child, his blood who was no more now, he did’nt knew he was at loss or does this miscarriage provided him an edge over the situation that could have caused if that would’nt have happen and she would have lost the child after a few months becoz of her weak cervix as the doctor has told her, or even if she have carried the child and compromised her education after giving birth? His mind was in great mess…he prefered himself over khushi ….atleast her life was saved other wise the situation could have been worse if she would have become a teen mother, he was some how relaxed within for her.

He told angali about her as she was very much worried and calling him again and again about khushi, he asked angali to told every one about khushi but stopped them from coming there. He did’nt wanted to stress khushi by telling her all about this loss now and so he restricted access to khushi for others as well.

He keep patting her head gently untill her eyes started blinking softly as sleep came over her and she fell back asleep. He looked at his image in the glass door infront of him, how he has become a monster after his parents death, how he hated this cruel world, how cruel he himself has become to punish this world, so cruel that he never realized that he is crushing an innocent flower under his feet, and realized when he saw that flower bleeding but she was some one who has become his entire world now and he was ready to harm any one who intended to hurt her ever, even if it was he himself……

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